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PlayStation
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Written by Hunter Red
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Sunday, 02 November 2008 |
 This week, a story broke about a detachable Playstation controller, with great detail given as to how this controller would work. From the moment this story hit online people were openly skeptical about it. Dead Pixel Live co-host Alphabox openly said on last Thursday's episode, "This story is fake." As it turns out, they are right. The man responsible for this hoax is writer Thomas Anderson, an employee of the Redertainment Corporation Of America. R.C.O.A. President Seifer Kinneas acknowledged this in a statement earlier today. He said, "We here at the Redertainment Corporation Of America are embarrassed by the actions of one of our young employees. The Redertainment Corporation Of America wholeheartedly apologizes for this and are working to ensure that this never happens again." This is not the first time that my fellow employee has tried something like this. Mr. Anderson is responsible for such stories as "Valiant Soldier", "Is The Club A Recruitment Tool?", and "Sarah Palin: Certified Hypnotist". When I asked him about this, Thomas Anderson has the following to say. "I was just sitting in the offices with a deadline looming and no idea how to fulfill my commitments. Like I do when I'm stressed, I started doodling. That day I was doodling my vision of the dildo of the future when Mr. Kinneas came around and asked me what I was doing. So I lied. I said I was drawing a new design for a detachable Playstation controller. Mr. Kinneas said he was pleased by this and wanted to see me develop it. I them proceed to pull a story out of my ass." It is unknown what kind of consequences will fall down on Thomas Anderson, that decision is expected to be made this week. It is known that Thomas has been asked by several people to produce the dildo he designed. These people include Mr. Kinneas' wife Crystal Motoko, my girlfriend Evey Hammond. |
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Last Updated ( Monday, 03 November 2008 )
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Written by Hunter Red
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Sunday, 14 September 2008 |
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TOKYO --Sony pulled the plug on its Playstation 3 game machine today, saying that itwould suffer a record loss by ending production of the console in Marchin a dramatic refocusing by the company.
Promising to shift its focus to content development, the company immediately announced plans to make games for the Palm Pilot.
Theworld's third-biggest maker of game hardware said the end ofPlaystation 3 will generate 80 billion yen ($689 million) inextraordinary losses, leading to a consolidated net loss of 58.3billion yen for the fiscal year ending on March 31.
Thatexceeded analysts' forecasts for a 50 billion yen special loss toabandon Playstation 3, the world's first Blu-ray video game machinewhen it was launched in 2006.
Sony’s dream of dominating themarket with the world's first Blu-ray console wired for online gamingquickly became a nightmare as the machine floundered against smoother,faster rivals from Microsoft and Nintendo.
"We will rapidlyshift our focus to the content business," Sony said in a statementtoday. He promised new Sony games for Palm Inc.'s handheld computerswould be out by the end of the year.
"Once we start applying ourdevelopment effort to bring characters like Kratos to a Palm, I thinkyou will see the business model open up immediately," SCEA presidentKazuo Hirai told Reuters.
U.S. sales of personal digitalassistants, such as the popular Palm Pilot, more than doubled in 2000,according to industry data, in sharp contrast to slack growth in thepersonal computer market.
Palm dominated with a market share of78 percent in 1999, according to research firm NPD Intelect. Hirai saidPalm users will increasingly seek out compelling games for the handhelddevices.
"The ability to get quality games moving forward ineither premium pay-for-play or a subscription-based model is becomingmore relevant to that consumer," he said.
An 85 billion yen fundinjection by Sony chairman Sir Howard Stringer will help staunch thered ink, and most analysts applauded Playstation’s end as a key steptowards returning to profitability. Sony is facing four straight yearsof losses.
"This is positive in a sense that bleeding is finallygoing to be staunched," said Hajime Yagi, senior portfolio manager atMeiji Dresdner Asset Management. "Sony would be able to make the betteruse of its strong team of software creators by letting them make gamesfor more widely used consoles, rather than Playstation 3."
Sonysaid it will now focus on returning to the black by providing gamesoftware content and entertainment titles to other video-game makers,including Nintendo and Microsoft.
"Up until now, our businessmodel was to sell a variety of software for a single affordable gamemachine ... but maintaining the balance between our hardware andsoftware enterprises while securing profits has become extremelydifficult," Sony said.
Analysts said Sony’s tough decision toexit what it considered its core business was encouraging and wouldpush the company back into the black in the next business year.
Sonysaid it will continue making games for existing Playstation machines,but analysts said it would be better off it concentrated on makinggames for machines like Nintendo’s Wii system, the world's top-sellingnext generation video-game machine.
"In a best case scenariounder which Sony completely stops developing games for the Playstation,the shares would have the potential to rise to 2,500 yen," said DaiwaInstitute of Research analyst Eiji Maeda said.
The move came asno surprise to the industry and investors after Sony said last week itwas considering such a move, although it would continue to focus on itssoftware business and to support the machine with software.
Salesof the Playstation 3 have struggled since its launch just under twoyears ago in the face of strong competition from Microsoft’s Xboxconsoles, including the new Internet-enabled and DVD (digital versatiledisc) video-playing Xbox 360.
Sony slipped deep into the red,managing to sell 14.41 million Playstation 3 machines worldwide by theend of June 2008, compared to the 29.62 million Wiis shipped byNintendo at the end of June.
Not surprisingly, its new rival inthe game software market, Electronics Arts, said that Sony will face atough struggle to provide software for other platforms. Sony will behandicapped by its unfamiliarity with the programming requirements ofrival consoles and the long development cycle for video games.
"They'restarting from scratch," said John Riccitiello, CEO of EA, which is thetop game vendor for Microsoft’s Xbox 360 in the United States.
"It'snot quite as though this is GM saying we'll make BMWs, but it's thesame kind of proposition," Riccitiello said. "They may look like BMWs,but I doubt if they'll drive like BMWs." Discuss this article on the forums. (0 posts) |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 25 September 2008 )
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Written by Hunter Red
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Sunday, 10 August 2008 |
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After news broke of Jim Brown filing a lawsuit against EA and Sony over use of his likeness, another Hall Of Fame running back announced a lawsuit of his own. Orenthal James Simpson, known to his friends as "Stabby", has announced that he will be suing Ubisoft and Crytek for use of his image in the video game Far Cry.
Simpson is alledging that the central character in Far Cry, identified as Jack Carver, is obviously based on him. He's using a video of Jack whipping out a switchblade and stabbing a guy in the back as evidence for this case. In legal briefs filed Tuesday, Mr. Simpson said the following in a legal affidavit:
"When I saw this game in action I got an instant hard on. I believe this happened for two reasons. One: This game allows you to stab lots of people, Two: The main character not only gets away with but is actually encouraged to stab a seemingly endless supply of people. I identified with this character right away."
Simpson's lawsuit is scheduled to go to trial next year, but that may change depending on how his current pending criminal trial plays out. One thing is clear though, lawyers who have no problem filing baseless, frivolous lawsuits stand to make a truckload of hot, sweaty cash.
Discuss this article on the forums. (1 posts)
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 20 August 2008 )
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Written by Hunter Red
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Sunday, 13 July 2008 |
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There's an activity that is still (barely) legal that I engage in on rare ocassions. I engage in this activity after concerts, sporting events, mixers, or even when I just need to relax. Sometimes this activity involves other people. Yes, ladies, gentlemen, and everybody else, I engage in the highly taboo act of smoking.
Now, I don't smoke marijuana. It's not because I think it's wrong, I live in Utah and I don't know where to find a hookup. No, I smoke a plant that is more destructive, addictive, and pointless...tobacco. I hit up my local smoke shop, find a cigar that looks the most like a black man's penis, pay the hippie behind the counter, and go along my merry way. I know most people think it's wrong, but if I followed along with what everybody thought was right, I'd be aggressively searching for some Mary Jane to make myself happy.
Before I started playing Metal Gear Solid 4: Obscenely Long Subtitle, the last time I has smoked was June 16th after I attended Monday Night Raw. I nearly got in three accidents, spilled ash on myself, and burned myself with my butane lighter. It was almost worth it. The next time I had planned was on September 3rd, after I communed with my lord and savior. That was until last Monday, when I started playing MGS 4:OLS. I cleared out my whole afternoon, got my popcorn, Coke, and settled in for the long ass install, followed by a long ass opening cinema. However what I got was a surprisingly short install. It took only eight minutes, not the length of a episode of Coupling as I had been lead to believe. So I was treated to, not a recap or behind the scenes video, instead to eight minutes of Old Snake smoking.
Now I smoke two packs a day and have this growing black thing in the back of my throat. Damn you Old Snake.
 
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Last Updated ( Monday, 18 August 2008 )
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Written by Administrator
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Tuesday, 16 October 2007 |
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EA has announced that Osama Bin Laden will be featured on the cover of Madden 09. For the past 6 years, the athelete portrayed on the cover of the popular football game Madden Football, has been striken with an injury or sufferred extremely terrible performace. The latest victim of 'The Madden Curse' was quarterback Vince Young, who was injured simply by walking off the field. The US Government has taken note of the power of the 'Madden Curse' and asked that EA, the games publisher, use the power of the Madden cover to help in the fight against terrorism.
An EA spokesmen stated 'This isnt the first time we've used the Madden Curse to help with national defense. In 2002 we released a special edition of Madden 02 for the Bandai GameSwan that featured Saddan Hussien on the cover. It wasnt a big seller, but we got the results we expected. Hopefully the Osama Edition will be equally successful'
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