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The News
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Written by Administrator
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Saturday, 29 November 2008 |
 One of the worst feelings in the world is when you realize you're number two. The 'Backup Plan', the 'Just in Case', the 'If All Else Fails', 'Second'. Because even when you do get to step up to the plate, its only a matter of time before you're back on the bench. It doesn't matter how good you are or how well you perform. You're only there because the first choice wasn't available. It was you or boredom.
That's Midnight Club L.A. It likes to pretend it's a glitzy blinged out arcade racer. It tries hard to impress with a lot of licensed cars and a pseudo representation of L.A.'s streets and highways. But as soon as you load it up and the poorly scripted 'story' starts, it's true nature shines through. Its really just a slightly ramped up version of the driving sections in GTA IV. And you're only playing it because you've already played through Nico's storyline twice.
Sitting across from the table from someone while they wait for their cell phone to ring is not the best way to enjoy a meal. It doesn't matter if you're funny or smart or know how to order the wine in French. Because you're the second choice. They'd happily trade you in for a cold sandwich with someone else. The pasta is bland and dry as you swallow because you know that all it takes is one phone call, and you're eating alone again. Look at those eyes. They're looking through you.
Being second sucks. You're always waiting for the hammer to fall when number one decides that they're ready to take over again. You can never get too comfortable because there's nothing stopping the door from slamming on you. What will happen when the first choice stops showing up at all? It doesn't really matter, because no matter what, you're number two. Someone else will go to the top of the list while you brush up on witty reparte.
Burnout Paradise is what Midnight Club wants to be. It wishes it could have Burnout's style and graphics and falls short imitating its gameplay options. MCLA's modes consist of 'Race from A to B', and 'Race from A to B to C'. Sure, you can plow through traffic like a madman, but it lacks Burnout's wild stunts or crashes. Adding in motorcycles and a race editor don't make up for the yawn inducing treks through the city. It wants to be more, but it falls short.
Being second sucks. Your phone only rings because someone else didn't pick up. You only get invited because someone else dropped out. You're only on the speed dial until they need the room. Midnight Club L.A. is only in the Xbox because Need For Speed Undercover wasn't on the shelves. You'd rather be playing EA's version of cops and robbers than Rockstar's. The cops that roam the streets in MC:LA act like after thoughts. The car customization tool looks like it was pulled directly from old versions of NSF. Nothing is terrible, its just 'okay'. But 'okay' is only good enough until the real deal is available.
Being second sucks. You wonder how it would feel to not get dismissed. No more sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you hear the click of call waiting. What would you do if every call didn't end with 'my other line is ringing, I gotta go'. It must be staggering to have someone's full attention. Being first would be great. Intoxicating.
Midnight Club:LA doesn't do a lot wrong. The rubber band AI, uninspired gameplay, and lax graphics aren't it's biggest flaws. Its biggest flaw is that it's a second choice. And being second sucks.
Score 5/10
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Written by Administrator
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Wednesday, 19 November 2008 |
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 That guy is bad ass.
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Written by Administrator
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Tuesday, 18 November 2008 |
 Valve officially announced their latest game, Left 4 Dead in a media extravaganza today. Spokesperson Darveena Franks told the press that this was their most groundbreaking release to date. "We've done things in L4D that no other developer has the skill or guts to do, its truly a revelation in gaming. Instead of innovation, we like to call it 'Unnovation. First of all, while other games let 8 or 16 or 32 people play together, we have Maximum of 4 players at once. Four. And while some games add lots of artificial intellligence to the enemies to make them more believable, we stripped out all AI of any sort. Instead, we've replaced the eloborate artifical intelligence routines we used in HalfLife 2 with the code for the ghosts from Pacman. Basically, all the enemies just move directly toward the player. That saved us a ton of development time. We at Valve also noticed that a lot of games have been falling back on the crutch of so called 'good graphics'. Well, we don't play 'follow the leader' at Valve, so we used the same graphic engine that we've had for 12 years. Plus, it's always dark, so you can barely see. That way, you can imagine that the game has incredible graphics. Using this strategy, even gamers with a Voodoo1 graphics card get an excellent gaming experience. If its good enough for Counterstrike, its good enough for Left 4 Dead.
We asked how Valve planned to market a game that was lacking in so many features that gamers have come to expect. Ms. Franks responded with 'Oh, we have a can't miss marketing campaign planned. First, we write 'VALVE' in big letters on the box. That alone will guarantee 2 million in sales. Also, we are implementing our patented B1GHL2A strategy. That stands for 'Buy 1, Get HalfLife 2 Again'. Its where we tell people if they buy this game, we'll throw in a copy of HalfLife 2, even though odds are they already own it. We've used this same strategy with great success for games like Team Fortress 2, Countestrike, Halflife Episodes 1 and 2, etc etc.' |
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Written by Administrator
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Monday, 03 November 2008 |
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 I know exactly what I want to do. It's very clear in my head and it all makes perfect sense. I'm a smart guy. I know how things work and I know what I need out of life to make me happy. I know that I want to live in a small quiet studio apartment with a view overlooking the city. I know I want to spend my free time playing a sim style racer with real cars, real handling and real tracks. I know I want a girl who's smart , creative, beautiful, and smiles when she sees me. That's what I want out of life.
There's a problem, though. What you want and what life gives you never quite seem to match up. The more you want something, the farther away it gets. And as it gets more out of reach, the clearer it seems. Its an illusion that can trap you.
Sitting in that small studio apartment, instead of airy and open, it feels empty. Its everything I wanted and nothing that I need. The silence that I thought would be comforting just reminds me that there's nothing here. The view makes me realize that I'd rather be outside than in this box. I wanted a new home and ended up with a new place to sleep.
To entertain myself, I bought Ferrari Challenge for the PS3. It satisfies all my checkpoints for a perfect racing game. Extremely detailed depictions of cars. Tracks pulled from real world locations. Handling that mimics the best of Ferrari's creations. And I'm utterly disappointed. It looks great but lacks flair. It drives great, but there's something missing that leaves me feeling empty after finishing a race. There's no sense of accomplishment when you complete a challenge or gain a new car. I got exactly what I wanted, but I want more.
I look at the woman who I believed was the one that mattered, and I realize that her smile isn't meant for me. I could keep on trying to trick myself into believing that maybe, one day she'll see me in the same way I see her. And maybe one day she will. But not today. Not tomorrow. And as the days add up, it would only be a matter of time before I wouldn't be able to see the smile at all.
There's the problem. You have to see what's there and what's not. You have to understand that life only gives you so much. The rest you have to take from life. You can either despair over what might have been or you can celebrate what is actually there.
I like my apartment. It's a lot better than the hellhole I was living in before. And from what I'm told, this is a major accomplishment. It is. I'm glad I moved here. The view is great.
Ferrari Challenge isn't the greatest racer in the world, but it still manages to put a smile on my face when the AI makes it hard for me to pass, or when I put a custom paint job on any of the 50 different Ferraris I can acquire. Its not Forza 2, but it'll get me through the winter.
She'll probably never feel the same way I do. I guess I knew that from the start. But I saw her smile. I heard her laugh. I made her a little bit happier, if only for a little while. And in the end, that's what I want to do.
Score 6/10
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Written by Hunter Red
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Sunday, 02 November 2008 |
 This week, a story broke about a detachable Playstation controller, with great detail given as to how this controller would work. From the moment this story hit online people were openly skeptical about it. Dead Pixel Live co-host Alphabox openly said on last Thursday's episode, "This story is fake." As it turns out, they are right. The man responsible for this hoax is writer Thomas Anderson, an employee of the Redertainment Corporation Of America. R.C.O.A. President Seifer Kinneas acknowledged this in a statement earlier today. He said, "We here at the Redertainment Corporation Of America are embarrassed by the actions of one of our young employees. The Redertainment Corporation Of America wholeheartedly apologizes for this and are working to ensure that this never happens again." This is not the first time that my fellow employee has tried something like this. Mr. Anderson is responsible for such stories as "Valiant Soldier", "Is The Club A Recruitment Tool?", and "Sarah Palin: Certified Hypnotist". When I asked him about this, Thomas Anderson has the following to say. "I was just sitting in the offices with a deadline looming and no idea how to fulfill my commitments. Like I do when I'm stressed, I started doodling. That day I was doodling my vision of the dildo of the future when Mr. Kinneas came around and asked me what I was doing. So I lied. I said I was drawing a new design for a detachable Playstation controller. Mr. Kinneas said he was pleased by this and wanted to see me develop it. I them proceed to pull a story out of my ass." It is unknown what kind of consequences will fall down on Thomas Anderson, that decision is expected to be made this week. It is known that Thomas has been asked by several people to produce the dildo he designed. These people include Mr. Kinneas' wife Crystal Motoko, my girlfriend Evey Hammond. |
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