In an attempt to prevent piracy, SecuRom has begun implementing what it calls 'pre-birth copy protection'. When registered users of Take 2 software become pregnant, the woman is required to wear SecuRom's new 'Fetus Check' anti-piracy band around their stomach. The band includes a mini speaker that constantly broadcasts anti-piracy phrases directly into the birth canal. Example messages include 'Dont Copy that Floppy','BitTorrent is the Boogieman', 'Piracy is for Poopypants', and 'If you steal software, Mommy wont love you'.

SecuRom praised this new technology as a profit saving measure that has become needed in the new digital age. Robert Lockly, vice president of SecuRom stated 'Over the last 2 years, game profits have only gone up 38 percent. If we didnt do something to stop future piracy, senior board members would only be able to afford 2 new cars per year, instead of the industry standard of 4." When asked about the legality of forcing expectant mothers to wear copy protection against their will, Lockly responded, 'First of all, we arent forcing anyone. When they clicked 'Accept' on the install screen of their game, they agreed to these terms. Its right there in paragraph 435. So its not like they didnt know about it. Also, our surveys show that these women will enjoy wearing the anti-piracy band. Its a lot more comfortable than the P2P chastity harness that our competitor StarForce is currently beta-testing."

Drake Dempsey senior engineer of SecuRom was asked why they decided to focus on pregnant women instead of the hackers themselves. "Stopping a hacker is hard. Those guys are smart. But babies are stupid. If you tell them to do something enough times, they'll probably do it. So we're just reinforcing good corporate morals on these future pirates." SecuRom has always advocated stopping piracy as early as possible. Early this year, they began putting copy protection on game demos, which by definition, are meant to be copied. Dempsey says that Fetus Check was the next logical step.

The first woman to have Fetus Check installed, Margaret Killian, strongly opposed wearing the anti-piracy band at first. 'The day after I posted on MySpace that I was pregnant, these 2 men with surgical gloves knocked on my door and said I had to wear this thing. I called the police. But when the cops came, they told me that this is legal under the DMCA law. But I guess its okay because they also let me pre-order GTA4.'

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